Who Needs Legs Anyway?

by Jackson Voorhaar


“Hold still, this won’t hurt a bit” she said.
“Really?”, I hoped back at her.
She just laughed.
She touched the saw to my leg, halfway up my thigh.
“There really isn’t any other option?”
“No, I’m sorry, you’re over the limit so we have to make up the difference somehow”.
She didn’t really seem sorry but I appreciated her saying it anyway. It’s like when people say it’s the thought that counts about gifts. It’s not true but it’s nice to hear.
Besides, who needs legs anyway? All they do is prop up your torso. Flamingoes seem to manage fine using just one.
“Sir?”, she pressed.
A lady behind me in the queue sighed in impatience.
Besides, humans have all sorts of nifty gadgets. Even pirates had wooden peg legs and they seemed to manage fine, and they had to walk on boats as they pitched and yawed.
“Ok” I heard myself say, “go on”.
Even if I do have to make do with a peg leg, I’ll stick a roller skate on the end and roller skate everywhere. Or I’ll get a Segway and Seg everywhere. I’ll be fine. This will be fine.
But as soon as she started sawing I knew I should have packed lighter, but 7 kilos for carry-on luggage is surprisingly little.